Several years ago I had a moment when I suddenly saw how much of myself I shut down or denied to please others. It was a shocking realization, and a major turning point in my life. Ever since that moment my deepest heart-felt desire has been to remember and express the truth of who I am. To that end I have been unyielding in my questioning of myself and my unseen Team, a collective of guides and angels who have helped me navigate life.
This year, 2012, events and awakenings have brought me closer to my goal but in spite of all the progress it still felt like I was light-years away ... until now. I believe that I have just been shown the path back to the truth of who and what we all are and the way we can all live, to what is often referred to as the Garden of Eden. An old quote has proven true, "The path to getting there is the quality of being there." I have also seen clearly exactly what has created the conflict-ridden life we have today and how to reverse it.
What I want to share with you is long and may be uncomfortable for some, as it presents a radical shift in consciousness. I want to assure you that it is life-altering if you are willing to take it into consideration. The transformation for me when I received this gift began immediately. I've chosen to share it because I believe it may have that impact for others as well.
I received a letter in the mail that brought up a lot of powerful emotions around a traumatic event in my life and while sharing it with my kids I saw how quickly I slipped back into blame and resentment. It's an old habit that seems resistant to conscious choice. Calling on my Team I asked, "What's the truth here?" I was not expecting what came next.
Suddenly it was crystal clear that the stories of my life were not entirely accurate. I was far from innocent, even as a child. In fact, my parents had endless challenges with me as I bucked authority at every turn. The rest of my life passed quickly through my awareness revealing the astounding truth. I have never been the innocent victim of anyone or anything. I have always only ever reaped what I sowed. Everyone & everything was showing up as a reflection or demonstration of what I was being & creating. No body else created the drama, trauma, strife, struggle, suffering, pain, & failure in my life. I created all of it. I forgive myself for that because I know that I did not know what I was doing. I just didn't understand. This was only the beginning of a truly enlightening evening.
What follows is written exactly as it was revealed, edited only for spelling errors, so its a bit choppy.
We cannot know eternal truth, experience it, or demonstrate it if there is deception in our consciousness.
Each time we tell a lie, steal, cheat, or in any way employ deception, even to ourselves, we are stepping further away from eternal truth & all the wonderful qualities it expresses as. The return to eternal truth demands an acknowledgement of the distortions we have created.
On the bright side, when you claim responsibility for all the distortion you created you also open yourself to your inherent power to create awesome stuff.
If we are or have been deceitful we find it difficult to impossible to trust others, trust life, trust God, etc, because ultimately we know that we cannot trust ourselves.
In ultimate truth there are no others. There is only one. When we lie, we lie to ourselves. When we steal, we steal from ourselves. When we cheat, we cheat ourselves. Every deception is self-deception, & it leads us farther & farther away from our eternal center & all the blessings that arise from being in that center. That center is Truth.
When you declare a lie to be the truth, you create your reality based on that lie. Life must show up for you as a demonstration of that lie.
Denial, repression, suppression, avoidance, & concealment of the truth from ourselves is exhausting. It is the root cause of chronic fatigue syndrome & fibromyalgia, & probably is also at the root of many other disorders & diseases.
The subconscious mind & ego work very hard to conceal our distortions & deceits from our conscious mind because they have become the building blocks of our reality. Without them our reality crumbles & that is a survival threat to the ego. If we are not yet mature enough to take responsibility without beating ourselves up the subconscious mind will keep our deceits hidden from our awareness as a protective mechanism.
Deception & distortion create stress in the body as the energy of the truth is in conflict with the deception or distortion of truth. This energetic conflict affects the body, creating distortion in the cells. Everything that we're hiding, whether from others or just from ourselves, is being held in a state of pressure within the energy system & within the body. The cells respond to this unnatural state with pain, weakness, disease, & degeneration. The body may also store extra fat to help create a storage space for all that we are holding/hiding/repressing within. This may be a survival mechanism to prevent the energy of deceit & conflict from damaging organs & other vital body parts. Chronic congestion is also a body response to this.
The mind cannot serve two masters. It either serves truth or deception.
The ultimate tool of separation is deceit. Everything that takes you away from truth takes you away from oneness & wholeness. Every justification of a deceit or distortion closes the door.
The Garden of Eden and Original Sin
The first choice for deception is depicted in the metaphoric story of the Garden of Eden. The serpent, ego, deceives Eve and Adam, and then together they choose to deceive God. Until that moment they lived in perfect alignment with eternal truth and in paradise. After that choice they never again saw paradise. Humanity has been trying to get back ever since, but without understanding that the first sin was not disobedience. It was the choice to employ deception. The choice to succumb to the serpent's (ego's) tempting was made to get something they believed they had been denied. We still do that today. The choice to attempt to deceive God was made because they believed their survival depended on it. We still do that, too. Most cultures in the world believe that some deception is necessary for survival and success, and use the ends to justify the means.
The return to the Garden of Eden is a return to Truth. We cannot enter it with deception, just as we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven with deceit.
Every deceit takes you away from everything you want. Committing to Truth showers that and more on you.
Deception blocks the flow of energy through us. Our bodies are energy conductors, created to host a continuous flow of energy through us. Deceit of any kind creates a block in that flow, preventing us from experiencing all the love, joy, peace, creativity, inspiration, wisdom, & abundance that flowing energy provides.
A heart blocked by deception can't feel gratitude, can't receive love, & can't experience the flow of bubbly joy through it. All receiving is blocked by deception because receiving is an expression of free flowing energy through our body/heart/mind/energy system.
"Seek first the kingdom of heaven & all things shall be added unto you." The kingdom of heaven is the state of being in which we are centered in & in alignment with eternal truth, with no deceptions or distortions, or the mechanisms to conceal them, blocking the flow of energy through us. Everything becomes available to us in this clear, open state.
Symptoms of a program of deceit: (but not necessarily the only contributing factor)
lack of trust, fear of being seen, isolation, fear of judgment, fear of rejection, need to blame & accuse others, victim hood, inability to receive, difficulty speaking, chronic pain, chronic congestion, obesity, desire to punish others, unconscious belief that you deserve to be punished, unworthiness, justifications, excuses, monkey mind, insomnia, anxiety, depression, fatigue, digestive problems, frequent nervousness, inability or great discomfort looking at self in mirrors, habit of exaggeration, defensiveness, aggression,
Programs designed to conceal distortion & deception:
denial, suppression, memory blocks, justification, deferral of responsibility, victim hood & blame, avoidance - of people, situations, discussions, isolation, distraction, confusion, judgment, controlling, creation of false identities around events & emotions, seeking drama/trauma to focus on, keeping you out of the now,
The truth is always here in the now. Programs of concealment keep you out of the now so you won't discover your own distortions & deceptions because then you may dismantle them.
Energy work & spiritual practices are much more effective when programs of deception & distortion have been cleared. Meditation is easier because the mind & body are more calm, clear, & quiet. Creativity comes more easily, intuition is clearer, guidance is more easily heard, & healing happens much more quickly & easily. We become more sensitive to energy & able to sense where it is flowing, where it is blocked, & what is being activated within us. Physic abilities become accessible. Life feels lighter, freer, more open, peaceful, & benevolent.
People who are centered in eternal truth live in a very different world than those who's modus operandi is based on deception. I choose to live in that world, to create that kind of world, and I can't wait to see what it looks like. I hope I'll see you there.
As a result of this gift I have created some short, simple processes to assist anyone who is willing to commit themselves to the frequency and expression of eternal truth. Let me know in a comment or in an email if you would like to work with them. (freely offered) firstname.lastname@example.org